For Such a Time as This

Why? What? How? All questions asked by one who in the same plea asks for me not to voice answers. Expectant of my reply; perplexed by my silence. Seeking acceptance and respect where none is due. My motivation constructive. Attempts made to crumble the foundation on which I stand. "It can't happen!", you say.

My God can do anything.

Meaning, spirit and will enslaved. Shallow forgiveness, counterfeit actions weighing heavy on my heart. I ask for time, peace, healing. The pain belittled, claiming my behavior is unworthy of our King.

My God sings a different song.

Humbled, I stand before you with the full armor of God held on with the belt of truth. Battle waged, not against flesh and blood. Lord, fill me with your Word as my sword. I will trust you. You are faithful. Take this jar of clay and mold me into your mighty warrior. Hold my tongue and let my ears taste the words.

I will fight for you.
Unconditional love...

Back in the saddle?

Yeah, it's been awhile since I have even considered posting on my blog. It's amazing to me how tomorrow becomes history before I am able to fully appreciate its potential. Do you relate? Having three children is such blessing, but also somewhat of a productivity hinder-er. I attempt to inspire myself daily to accomplish something insignificant let alone significant. Clean the closets, organize the pantry, sort out clothes for charity... When it comes down to it, I am hindered by the everyday...cleaning up a major mess that just happened, coordinating activities around nap-time,refereeing sibling scuffles, keeping young minds occupied and their endless inquiries addressed, school pick-ups, homework, meals and after school activities. Ah, such is life. Life is good, just busy and, boy, I am usually very tired by the time the sun sets.

Today, I did manage to do something for myself. I decided that my baby and I would venture to the newest craft store in town and check it out after dropping my older two off at school. I figured I had about an hour before I needed to get home for wee-one's nap-time. Upon entering this crafter's candy store, I was immediately struck by how many employees were working. I understand that this store is new and preparing for their grand opening, but there must have been 5 times as many employees in the store as there were shoppers. In this large workforce, I noticed something else that seemed unusual to me. The majority of the staff were MALE! Ok, so I know that there are a lot of creative men out there. I happen to even know a guy that scrapbooks and I have a male family memeber who has more creativity in his little finger than I have in my whole body. Still, it was rather surprising to see so many men employed in a craft store. Males of all ages were working there. I was politely asked if I needed help by a very young gentleman who I noticed even had gauged ears that had been discreetly masked. Interesting. I wonder... is it the economy that has prompted men into seeking employment in craft stores? I can't help but feel a bit awkward about this possibility. I feel that men in our society have been deeply emasculated by so many things. I certainly hate to see men employed by a craft store out of necessity. This is certainly a sad reflection of our once great, strong nation that was teethed on concepts of free enterprise and the American dream. I will say that if it means that the women are at home raising their children and the men are clawing at the earth trying to find a way to support their families, then great, but I fear that is not the case. While Mexican nationals are cultivating our nations dwindling food supply, American men are seeking employment in craft stores. Have the parent's of our men tainted the concept of work? Has laboring in the fields become a demeaning job that our boys are too good for? Has it forced our farmer's to hire those who will get their hands dirty and work for a lower wage? A wage that ultimately gets flooded into Mexico's economy. While a craft store's pay is likely higher than toiling in the fields, what is the ultimate price? Have we sold out our country? Is the craft store job a means to an end or an end to a means for these men? Are their dreams alive or dissolved? There is certainly nothing wrong with working in a craft store and it's admirable to be working and not simply relying on federal programs. But I think, perhaps, it should prompt some thought on the strength of our nation and society.

Who knows... all just incomplete, random thoughts as I explore a new craft store perusing the projects. I humor myself with thoughts that I might actually find time to complete one...

Beautiful Christian Sister

By Maya Angelou 

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ 
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.' 

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin'' 
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.' 

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. 
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide. 

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. 
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

 
When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. 
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. 

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect, 
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it. 

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain.. 
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name. 

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, 
I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!' 

SAHM

Approximately a year and a half ago, I traded in my early morning commutes, leisurely cup of am coffee, meeting after meeting, and business clothes. I became a stay-at-home-mom. Easy right? Aw, the good life... I've heard the cliches. Watch soap operas all day, eat bon-bons...sigh...nice. Well, the truth is the trade was for chaotic scrambles to get three kids ready every morning, squeezing three car seat-enveloped kids into a tight backseat, slamming a cup of coffee between requests for food and cries for breastfeeding, wiping off all sorts of staining fluids and particles from my worn clothing, and trying to triage what is absolutely necessary to accomplish for the day. While demanding, my "old job" was nothing compared to raising and molding three human beings. It isn't nearly as simple as just telling them what to do, it's teaching them why they should do it and find a way to make them interested and motivated to complete a task. Just when I think I have the hang of it with my son , I turn around and see my other child who happens to have a completely different personality. I realize technique number one will simply never work with her. What will number three be like!?! My years in management were a piece of cake compared to my daily tasks. I haven't even mentioned the never-ending house cleaning, meal planning, grocery shopping (going to the grocery store with three kids is a challenge worth later focus in my blog), and LAUNDRY! Oh, and we have two dogs and a cat;~)

I absolutely wouldn't trade a second of it (the paycheck ;~) is amazing), but I do have fantasies about sleeping in until 9am. Is that weird?

Ok, off to feed the baby...

Precious life...

I heard about this story and I was so incredibly moved by this sweet little boy's life. It reminds me how very precious each day is with the ones we love...

Safe Candles!

`Please check out this new blog from Scentsy to discover the safe, wickless alternative to candles! My website is www.scentsy.com/kellywuthrich.

In July of 2003, two moms who loved candles but didn’t want to worry about the danger of open flames decided to design a safe alternative to fragrant wicked candles.
After months of research, a safe, beautiful and creative alternative to a traditional wick and flame candle was born. Aromatic candles, heated in decorative warmers where the wax is melted by the heat of a 25 watt bulb, were the fragrance solution they had been looking for.Today that safe alternative to wicked candles is being spread by independent consultants of Scentsy Inc., the authentic wickless candle company. The concept is simple, and powerful. The products are heartwarming and current. Above all, they are safe.

Candle fires are reported more often during the holiday season than any other time of year. Four out of the 5 days with the highest reported incidences of home fires are Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. (The fifth day is Halloween.)

Be fire safe this holiday and visit our blog http://www.safecandlesbyscentsy.blogspot.com

From the SEEing Feast...SEE something sacred in the everyday

Yes, I admit it, my house is messy a large majority of the time. My children enjoy expanding their world (the contents of their rooms) to the entire house. Their vivid imaginations bring dinosaur wars, bug safaris, and guess the animal games to my living room. Often enough the remnants of these adventures tend to remain scattered across the floor. I feel like I am continually picking up after them or bargaining with them...I mean using parenting strategies, to get them to clean up after themselves...

Today, I took a step back and imagined what it would be like without the messes. I found myself contempating the past when my house was tidier, before our children blessed our home. The days when I had more time to myself, more sleep, and less noise in my home. As the breath caught in my throat, I realized that I would feel so empty without them. In fact, my life has become so much more enriched by my children. Their imaginations and the innocent way they look at the world humbles me and gives me pause to slow down and not worry about the little things. They motivate me to pray like I've never prayed before and to give glory to Christ.

Ok, the battle to keep my house clean continues, but at least I can appreciate it more this day...

Sweet Blessings...

Our newest addition has taken up residence in our hearts...

Gazing into our Addison's big blue eyes, I am once again humbled by God's grace. Despite all the mistakes I have made in my life, all was forgiven the moment I kneeled at the cross. My Savior has, for the third time, entrusted to us a perfect, innocent child to raise.

I am honored.

I pray that these beautiful eyes will continue to shine. Shine with love, joy, peace... Shine with love for Jesus.

Put your nose into my business!

Do you like your home and car to smell great? Would you like to have over 80 scents to choose from? Are you concerned about safety and health? My "candles" are soot-free and wickless. The wax does not burn into the air and it won't burn little fingers or paws. Still interested? Check out my website to find out more about these great, fun and SCENTsational products!

Slow Fade

This video by Casting Crowns is very touching to me. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. I can't express how much pain I felt as a child resulting from the destruction of my family. The pain of growing up separated from loved ones will always be there, but thankfully, the Lord has given me peace and provided me with a loving husband, a strong marriage based on Christ, and a beautiful family that I cherish. I think the message of this song is so important. Psalms 1 says:'Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers'. The word of God is alive and speaks to us, sometimes the words will touch us differently each time we read them. This verse clearly indicates a progression of sin. It's a slow fade... Don't allow yourself, your marriage or any aspect of your life begin a slow fade towards sin.

Many blessings...

Bugs

My son loves bugs. I mean he really loves bugs...everything about them. What I see as creepy crawy creatures, he sees magnificent features and amazing qualities. Daily, he wanders around the yard lifting every rock he can find to see if he can discover a new kind of bug or just one of a familiar variety. I have been asked numerous questions about bugs. What, why, how come? I have even found myself seeking guidance about certain kinds of bugs on the Internet search engines to satisfy the curiosity of a four year old child. He has recruited his sister into the love and observation of bugs. Together they search and become one with the bug's habitat, often challenging my laundering abilities. Together they are budding entomologists, alive with fascination and interest...

When do we change? I imagine there was a time in my life where I looked at things, like bugs, in fascination rather than fear or repulsion. Because of my son, I had an opportunity to look closely at a grasshopper for the first time in probably 20+ years. I must admit, it was captivating! I was actually surprised that I found a glimmer of interest in my bogged brain. As I read the many bug books that are requested at bedtime, I find myself amazed that even the smallest of God's creatures are complex and intricate and, yes, fascinating...even the gross ones.

My, how much we overlook as we enter into the hustle and bustle of adulthood... How wonderful it is to have children to remind us of innocence lost...

A moment of thought...

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer -Psalm 19:14

Wow! Where does time go? Here I am at the end of July. I am nearing the end of my third pregnancy and trying hard to capture and forge into memory the amazing fact that a fully formed, precious child lay just below my heart. This child who I will soon know so fully... Soon I will struggle to remember how life was without her in it. I feel as if I have known my other two children my entire life. I can't remember not being able to hear their sweet voices or feeling their intense energy filling the house. They are truly an amazing blessing!

I feel like this summer has taken me a step backwards in my spiritual journey. Not that I cherish my Lord less, but I have been severely challenged in a personal relationship. I have struggled to admit my feelings and have chosen for the last several months to ignore my thoughts and remain somewhat blank. I suppose this reaction reverts to times in my history when it just seemed easier to not address the issue to myself in a feeble attempt to protect my pride. That despicable pride keeps creeping in to cause problems for me. In this case, after praying rather blandly initially, I found myself avoiding discussion with the Almighty. What! Why? As I examine my thoughts, I feel like I have finally, utterly failed at a relationship that I have spent my entire life trying to hold together. Maybe I am grieving? Regardless, my Lord keeps reminding me that He is with me at all times. Over the last few weeks, I have been challenged to think deeper and strengthen my prayer life. I must bring all to Him! I will regroup with myself and confide in the Lord who will never abandon me...no matter what...

I rejoice the new adventures in my life. I feel invigorated to be meeting new people and spending time with those who I have known and bring me joy. The future holds so much promise and laughter. New sweet voices to fill the voids and intermix with the many beautiful melodies of life. Thank-you, Lord, for never leaving me alone in my thoughts! I continue to fight the current in order to make it to the other side so I can walk with you.

Simple Joy!

Today my children humbled me once again...

Each came to the door with a large smile radiating their faces. I asked them what they were up to and they both, in a sing song manner, voiced "I love you, mommy"! From behind their backs came their grubby little hands, grasping all the marigolds, grass blooms, and tree blooms they could hold. My heart melted at the purity of their gesture. I immediately took their sweet offering and filled a vase with the assortment of "spring" blooms. Never have I beheld such a beautiful bouquet! The joy in their faces as I accepted their gift actually brought tears surging to my eyes. This precious moment in my day made everything right in the world.

Do you suppose the joy reflected in their pure faces is a glimpse of how God looks when we accept His gift of grace?

It's a GIRL!

Our newest addition to our family is going to be another little GIRL! We are thrilled with the fact that everything appears to be growing and functioning normally. She is measuring in at about 12 ounces with long legs (that's my girl). The Lord is good to us *sigh*. Braden and Rylee are happily digesting the fact that they are going to have another sister. Love to all!

Fetal Hand Grasp

This incredible picture of a 21-week old fetus reaching out of the womb and grasping the finger of his surgeon was sent to me in an e-mail. It was taken by a freelance photographer hired to take pictures for USA Today on an article about in-utero fetal surgery. The photographer's name is Michael Clancy. I encourage you to visit his website (http://www.michaelclancy.com/) to read the entire story behind and involving this photograph. It is surrounded by controversy due to it's evidence of an unborn child interacting. Prior to walking into the operating room and witnessing this amazing moment, Michael Clancy was a self-proclaimed pro-choice advocate...now he is a pro-life champion!

The story, as written by the man who took the picture:

As a veteran photojournalist in Nashville, Tennessee, I was hired by USA Today newspaper to photograph a spina bifida corrective surgical procedure. It was to be performed on a twenty-one week old fetus in utero at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. At that time, in 1999, twenty-one weeks in utero was the earliest that the surgical team would consider for surgery. The worst possible outcome would be that the surgery would cause premature delivery, and no child born earlier than twenty-three weeks had survived.
The tension could be felt in the operating room as the surgery began. A typical C-section incision was made to access the uterus, which was then lifted out and laid at the junction of the mother's thighs. The entire procedure would take place within the uterus, and no part of the child was to breach the surgical opening. During the procedure, the position of the fetus was adjusted by gently manipulating the outside of the uterus. The entire surgical procedure on the child was completed in 1 hour and thirteen minutes. When it was over, the surgical team breathed a sigh of relief, as did I.
As a doctor asked me what speed of film I was using, out of the corner of my eye I saw the uterus shake, but no one's hands were near it. It was shaking from within. Suddenly, an entire arm thrust out of the opening, then pulled back until just a little hand was showing. The doctor reached over and lifted the hand, which reacted and squeezed the doctor's finger. As if testing for strength, the doctor shook the tiny fist. Samuel held firm. I took the picture! Wow! It happened so fast that the nurse standing next to me asked, "What happened?" "The child reached out," I said. "Oh. They do that all the time," she responded.
The surgical opening to the uterus was closed and the uterus was then put back into the mother and the C-section opening was closed.
It was ten days before I knew if the picture was even in focus. To ensure no digital manipulation of images before they see them, USA Today requires that film be submitted unprocessed. When the photo editor finally phoned me he said, "It's the most incredible picture I've ever seen."

There is much more surrounding this amazing picture, as I have come to learn. I will let you conduct your own reasearch and make your own conclusions about the claims, facts, aftermath of this photo. Love to you in your journey...

Breaking Free!

Today I completed my second intense Bible Study by Beth Moore. Both studies have been more of a self discovery of Christ's love than simply a study of the Bible. I guess I'm learning that is actually what the Bible is...an accounting of just how deeply our Lord God loves each and every one of us. Very humbling considering the many things I have done in my life to try and be in control and frankly not need God. With this study, I have learned that many lies have been offered to me by the enemy. I, of course, fell for them hook, line, and sinker. Satan fights dirty and he knows how to hit upon insecurities and weakness to allow for the lies to sink deeper in the form of captivating thoughts. Through this study and reading God's word, I am able to understand this bondage and how it affects my relationship with the Lord. I no longer want to be a prisoner. I want liberty in Christ!

I would like to share a prayer with you that Beth Moore prayed with us today. It is amazing and really captures the beauty of walking with the Lord God Almighty. Please read these words and absorb the impact of the meaning:

A Healing Captive

O, God, Who frees the captive
Do not liberate this carnal slave for freedom's sake
For I will surely wing my flight to another thorny land.
Break, instead, each evil bond
And rub my swollen wrists,
Then take me prisoner to Your will
Enslaved in Your safekeeping.
O, God, Who ushers light into the darkness,
Do not release me to the light
To only see myself.
Cast the light of my liberation upon your face
And be Thou my vision.
Do not hand me over
To the quest of greater knowledge.
Make your Word a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path
And lead me to Your dwelling.

O, God, Who lifts the grieving head,
Blow away the ashes
But let Your gentle hand upon my brow
Be my only crown of beauty.
Comfort me so deeply,
My Healer,
That I seek no other comfort.

O, God, Who loves the human soul
Too much to let it go,
So thoroughly impose Yourself
Into the heaps and depths of my life
That nothing remains undisturbed.
Plow this life, Lord,
Until everything You overturn
Becomes fertile soil,
Then plant me, O God
in the vast plain of Your love.
Grow me, strengthen me,
And do not lift Your pressing hand
Until it can boastfully unveil
A display of Your splendor.

In God's liberating name, the way, the truth, and the life... AMEN!

A New Life...

Well, it looks like our little family is going to be a little bit bigger in September. We are overjoyed! We continue to pray that the Lord will keep our newest addition safe and healthy while he or she forms and grows strong enough to face the outside world. This pregnancy has been easier and yet harder for me in many ways. The "morning sickness" seemed to be worse at night instead of all day. I actually only lost my stomach contents about, oh a dozen times now... As with my other pregnancies, I have been utterly exhausted (which is why there has been no activity on my blog). I have struggled to keep up with my 2 and 4 year olds, as their energy is endless. My biggest challenge? I have had much more time to fixate on this pregnancy than my past two since I am no longer working full time. I have discovered that for me to fixate on something is not a good thing. It seems my anxiety about the health of this pregnancy has been far more exacerbated than when I just didn't have time or when I was too sick to think about it... I am learning (sometimes the hard way) to have faith that our Lord is a loving Lord and that He is in control and will ensure the best (the hard part to swallow is that I know sometimes His best doesn't seem like the best for me at the time). My prideful, stubborn nature seems to flirt with me eluding that I am in control and can fix any situation. How wrong I am! How hard it is for me to say that! Needless to say, I have been incredibly blessed in my life and I have an amazing family. I will continue to work on trusting and believing God. I have mentioned before that I am experiencing an amazing Bible study by Beth Moore. I hope to verbalize more of what I am learning here soon. It has been difficult for me to keep up with the study over the last few months, but thankfully I can catch up when my energy returns fully.

I look forward to warmer weather, a bigger belly, renewed energy, and more blogging...

Reconnecting...

Wow, it's been a while since I last added to my blog! I am amazed at how quickly time goes by. Our children are now 4 and 2 years old. Christmas and both birthdays went so well. Blessings continue to surround us. We enjoyed a fantastic visit from my sister-in-law and her beautiful family shortly after Christmas. It was so nice to see the cousins all playing together.

As January 2008 comes to a close, Gentry will celebrate his 34th birthday. He is becoming the spiritual leader of our home. His leadership is welcomed and our family is thriving.

I pray that Christ continues to work in our lives as we inhale His word. May the changes we are experiencing be evident on our exterior as well as our interior.

This Spring I am participating in another Bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free. I intend to share what I learn and experience. I anticipate amazing lessons and self-reflection.

I hope you continue to join me in my journey...

A Fantastic Evening...

Braden's preschool had their Christmas program last night. It was so fun to watch all the 3 and 4 year old children preforming and singing sweet Christmas songs. Braden did such a great job in his role as Joseph and he worked really hard to keep up with the hand motions of each song. Gentry and I were delighted to see our little man up on stage singing his heart out. His shyness is definitely going away...when he spotted us in the crowd he yelled out," there's my mommy and daddy"! We were very proud to claim that one as our's, as well. After the program was complete, Braden presented us with a beautiful nativity scene he had made along with a sweet Christmas card and a cool ornament for our tree. It was a lovely evening... full of wonder, much humor, and glory to Jesus. Sigh* what more can you ask for this Christmas season? We are so blessed with our little ones and we so enjoy this journey with them.

The Fruit of the Spirit...

This morning I woke up...crabby. Yes, I admit it...REALLY crabby. You know what? I accepted that I was crabby the minute that I woke up. It didn't help that I have a slight cold and that I didn't sleep well last night. In fact, I can think of at least five really good reasons to be crabby today. So I guess it's alright...

I went to my Bible study this morning. Because of my rather foul mood, I sort of dragged my way in. I knew that I would keep my daughter with me instead of nursery, because she too, has a slight cold. Today was our Believing God wrap-up/ Christmas celebrations with the ladies of Boise First. My listening skills were immediately challenged by my rambunctious, nearly two year old little girl, who, with a gleam in her eye, started wiggling and attempting to free herself from my grasp. I soon found myself alternating holding her in the back of the room and letting her run free out in the hallway. This activity did not lighten my mood, instead, I'm sure I became even more grumpy...

During one of the moments where Rylee was calmly allowing me to hold her, a dear friend of mine stood up to address the group. Almost instantly, I felt a perceptible electricity in the air. It was like Christ was saying, "listen to this". I was immediately amazed at her humility and courage to address this group, baring all. Her testimony was raw, rich, real and beautiful. Many of her words reflected experiences and thoughts in my life. Christ has worked in my life in very similar ways as my friend and yet both of our stories are unique to us. Wow!

And still I left church grumpy...

My whole day was grumpy, I was not cheerful to my children and I wasn't cheerful to myself... When my husband came home from work, I wasn't particularly cheerful to him. Kind of a ugly circle... Have you ever had a day like this?

So tonight, I ran to the book store to get some stationary for our family Christmas letter (don't worry, I didn't write it today). While I was there, I picked up a book, a journaling tool actually, written by Max Lucado. The first couple of pages sort of knocked me on the head...

Every morning, we are given a choice... Because of God sacrificing His son, Jesus, on the cross, each of us are free to choose how we face each new day. Today, I failed, but by the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ I have another opportunity to choose tomorrow.
I pray that tomorrow
I choose Love...
I choose Joy...
I choose Peace...
I choose Patience...
I choose Kindness...
I choose Goodness...
I choose Faithfulness...
I choose Gentleness...
I choose Self-control...

"To these I commit my day," Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment Journal

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." Galatians 5:22-26 NIV