A moment of thought...

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer -Psalm 19:14

Wow! Where does time go? Here I am at the end of July. I am nearing the end of my third pregnancy and trying hard to capture and forge into memory the amazing fact that a fully formed, precious child lay just below my heart. This child who I will soon know so fully... Soon I will struggle to remember how life was without her in it. I feel as if I have known my other two children my entire life. I can't remember not being able to hear their sweet voices or feeling their intense energy filling the house. They are truly an amazing blessing!

I feel like this summer has taken me a step backwards in my spiritual journey. Not that I cherish my Lord less, but I have been severely challenged in a personal relationship. I have struggled to admit my feelings and have chosen for the last several months to ignore my thoughts and remain somewhat blank. I suppose this reaction reverts to times in my history when it just seemed easier to not address the issue to myself in a feeble attempt to protect my pride. That despicable pride keeps creeping in to cause problems for me. In this case, after praying rather blandly initially, I found myself avoiding discussion with the Almighty. What! Why? As I examine my thoughts, I feel like I have finally, utterly failed at a relationship that I have spent my entire life trying to hold together. Maybe I am grieving? Regardless, my Lord keeps reminding me that He is with me at all times. Over the last few weeks, I have been challenged to think deeper and strengthen my prayer life. I must bring all to Him! I will regroup with myself and confide in the Lord who will never abandon me...no matter what...

I rejoice the new adventures in my life. I feel invigorated to be meeting new people and spending time with those who I have known and bring me joy. The future holds so much promise and laughter. New sweet voices to fill the voids and intermix with the many beautiful melodies of life. Thank-you, Lord, for never leaving me alone in my thoughts! I continue to fight the current in order to make it to the other side so I can walk with you.